I'm at the stage in my NTCC-after life where I have a decent handle on my level of regret for ever staying in that group.
But every now and then the thoughts slip through and I wonder to myself what would have happened had I stayed in the Air Force and kept on track for a very good career.
Xmas 1987 w/ grandma & brother on short leave from basic training
I didn't enter the military until I was 25. The Air Force was trying to recruit linguists when I was in my last few months of high school. They came to our school in New Jersey seeking out students who had taken a second language and done well. I started taking Spanish in 7th grade and stopped in 11th.
The idea was to have those of us selected to train in Monterey, CA after basic training in order to become linguists. So we could listen in on the Russkies --I suppose. It was 1981 after all.
After talking to the recruiter, I told him I'd like to take the special test to see if I'd be a fit for the linguist career field. He was overjoyed as not many showed an interest. I had to go into Newark at 6am and sit in a room with about 12 other hopefuls. There was a desk up front with a tape recorder, and each of us sat at a typical school desk facing front. We weren't allowed to have anything but our test papers and a pencil. We weren't allowed to take notes either.
A dude came in and instructed us that we were going to hear a sentence spoken on a recording and then we'd be asked several questions. It was reiterated that we were not to make any notes...not on our bodies and not on our desktops.
Basically, they made up a language from the English language. The proctor would say something like, "in the following sentence the nouns are now adjectives and the verbs are now nouns and the adverbs are now verbs" The lady on the tape would read a sentence: "The large man went to the bathroom to see if that's where he left his wallet"
(sidenote: in my experience...he probably did)
Then the proctor would tell us to fill in the circle next to the new noun, new verb, etc.
At the end of the testing, I left feeling so dejected. I thought there was no way I did well on it. But, surprise, I did well and after speaking with my recruiter further, we made a date for me to come in and sign my contract.
I never went in to sign that contract. I thought I was in Love at the time and that guy talked me out of going. It is nice to be wanted and loved, but after three weeks or so, I resented that guy so much and wanted nothing to do with him. I was too humiliated to go back in to the recruiter who had already invested so much in me. I was ashamed beyond measure.
Jump ahead to 1986, I was working in New York City at the time for Paramount Pictures. It was an amazing job. I worked on the 21st floor of the Gulf and Western building at Columbus Circle, overlooking the Park. I think it's a Trump building now if I'm not mistaken.
A month or two after my arrival in the Philippines, there was a Change of Command Ceremony for our outgoing commander. He invited me to fly on his helo for a five -ship formation. We flew all over the island of Luzon and we weren't that high off the ground. It was thrilling.
I had been thinking about that lost Air Force opportunity a lot as I commuted to work every day from Jersey. One day I decided to walked the 30 blocks or so down to the train station at Madison Square Garden and on the way passed by the Recruiting Station which sat in the middle of Times Square....and who knows, maybe it's still there.
I spoke with a recruiter and I was all hopped up on patriotism with Reagan in office and was pumped to do my part. We spoke a bit and after doing all the things necessary to see if I could still go in the Air Force, he said I was and after speaking about jobs, I decided to wait almost a year in order to get the job I wanted.
That fateful day of my entry was October 14, 1987. I turned 25 two days later and I had a blast. I went to school in Biloxi, MS and then headed over to the Philippines for my four year stint there. My job was fulfilling and exciting and I worked with the greatest people. We were like a little family.
I was doing computer work for a Helicopter Search and Rescue squadron. I loved it because we weren't just training, but we had real life missions as well up to and including a 7.0 earthquake and typhoons and pilots crashing into the mountain that was later found to be a volcano.........and we all know how that ended.
I made rank early and won the highest award possible for the schooling we were required to take before putting on the rank of Sgt. Had I not gotten out when I did in order to attend the NTCC bible school, I would have put on SSGT and been well on my way to an amazing tenure in the Air Force.
[While holding the son of one of the pilots in my squadron, I was listening intently to the pep talk he was delivering to me before I went in for my below-the-zone board.. I did well and put on Senior Airman early].
I regret not putting in my full 20 years. It hits me hard sometimes. But, I shake myself out of it and remind myself of all the good things which I have in my life and which bring me joy and fulfillment.
[While 6 months pregnant and wearing my prego uniform, I received the John Levitow award scoring the highest in my class for Professional Military Education....the thing you need to do before putting on the rank of Sgt. I did feel odd earning an honor as a pregnant woman, but hey, I'll take it.]
I love it.
I work from home and what's better than that?
It took me a long time to stop playing the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda game. When I found out time machines aren't real, I gave up on the idea of going back to that fateful day when I was invited out to that Serviceman's Home so I could say NO!
Now I endeavor each day to live my best life and to enjoy my family.
I hope that those of you who are out are not beating yourselves up. There is absolutely no point and that mindset ruins everything. You missed out on so much while in, why miss stuff now in the NTCC After Life drowning yourself in regret?
Live!
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